Today has been a busy one. I had told Katelynn that her favorite cousin was coming to play which didn't happen because she wasn't feeling well (her cousin that is), so I decided to get myself ready for the day and go to Calgary to get some running around things done. It seems I have a list a mile long of things that are needing to get done, and I seem to accomplish nothing lately. I just don't know where to start. So I was all ready to go, and putting Kate in the car when the school called. Michael was kicked in the face (accidentally) at recess, his mouth was apparently still bleeding but otherwise he was okay. So we went to get Mike. He was sitting in the office trying to be brave, the secretary said he hadn't been crying therefore he was likely fine, but when he saw me I saw his little chin starting to quiver. Allison and Emma came in from outside and came to check on him, I said he just got hit in the mouth and would be fine, Allison said, "I know I kicked him". Nothing like honesty. It was an accident and she felt bad though.

Michael with his swollen upper lip, he couldn't smile any more than this

We went for lunch with grandma instead. Then we came home to hang out and let me do more of nothing. I actually fell asleep on the couch. Tonight after supper I just needed a Pepsi, you know those times when all things will fall apart unless a little Pepsi is there. Now I just need to wash my little girls and go get some other girls from activity days, then put some kids to bed, do laundry and clean up...no problem, I still have some Pepsi left.

This weekend was fun. Nathan took Laurel and Will skiing for the first time (pictures to come), and I took the four younger ones to see Frozen at the theatre in Calgary for Kate's birthday. We had family and a couple friends over for cake and presents in the evening and altogether had a great time. Well my group did...Nathan got kicked in the face with a ski and his tongue swelled up so he sounded like he had just had dental work done.

We wanted to make William's first skiing experience a good one because he is going with his school this week to the mountains to ski, and we didn't want Will having a breakdown on the hill from frustration. So good ole dad took him out and dealt with the frustrations as best anyone could...until he got kicked in the face (accidentally) by Will when trying to help him up after a wipeout. I think I would have wanted to kick him back, Nathan didn't retaliate and so I consider that a success.

My Kate turned 4 today. Happy and sad. Mostly happy. I love my kids and want my littles to stay little just a while longer. This morning the kids all sang happy birthday to Kate while we were in the car on the way to school, she was beaming.  I love Kate's snuggles, her imaginary games, her attempts to convince me that I don't really have to brush her hair today, I love dancing with her to whatever music is on in the kitchen, I love hearing her joke (she only says one knock knock joke, the interrupting cow one) over and over and over again, I love making her peanut butter sandwiches with the peanut butter on one slice of bread folded in half because that is the only way she eats them, and I like knowing how to make them so she eats them. She is my girl, and my heart. Happy birthday baby.

The kids did a balloon drop for Kate and she loved it, these were the first of thirty!

She loves her princess dresses

Kids are like water. Parents are like mountains; strong, steadfast and immovable. We are supposed to be the guides to our children even when they want to defy your guidance, we are to be steadfast. Then when they are older they say' I'm glad my mom made me stick that out.

Yes I am talking about the fight to learn piano. Laurel gets in these 'I hate piano' moods and nothing I say or do will get her out. Two thoughts run through my head at those times. 1. Don't let her give up, it is hard now but she will so appreciate being able to play one day, she loves music and will enjoy her talent when it is developed. 2. This isn't worth it, maybe piano isn't her thing, and it costs $80 a month that I could use to learn myself because I actually want to!

What to do. My kids of water are starting to erode me over time, what parts am I willing to give and yet still be steadfast?

Today was so cold I was forced to stay inside and do nothing! Okay maybe not forced, and perhaps I could have done something but I had lots to do and no motivation. I did exercise, and do laundry, and clean the kitchen, and dance with Kate, and teach her how to write her name, and shovel the driveway...but it didn't feel like much. I should be painting doors, and my bedroom, and making a headboard (but the wood is out in the freezing cold shed!) Anyhow I guess those things will wait, and I can enjoy my little girl while she is here with me. She turns 4 on monday...I should maybe get her a present and plan a little party or something.

Tonight I helped the twins practice violin, they are getting better and it is fun to see them with their tiny violin. I don't think everyone is as happy about hearing them play though. I guess I did tell Alli at one point that she sounded like a dying cat. So she did her best to correct that. Maybe next year I will rent a violin and practice along with them...if you can't beat 'em, join'em...

I am writing while I'm waiting for some cinnamon sugar breadsticks to bake. They smell tasty. Today was fast sunday. I love the gospel, I love its simplicity. I love coming to know my Saviour and my Heavenly Father. I love coming to know the version of me that they know, and the potential I have. That knowledge is really a slow process but so worth trying to get.

I think my mothering skills were lacking today. I don't know if it was hunger or PMS that made me grumpy and testy, but those were definite descriptive words of me today. Tonight Nathan and I talked about my interest in becoming a nurse practitioner. Is it worth the time and money...and effort? The knowledge interests me a lot, I know I love learning, but is it worth it? How much of my time with my kids would I be sacrificing? These are things I need to find out before making any decisions. Nathan is supportive of me going ahead with it if I really want to do it, he's fantastic.

Saturdays are often anticlimactic. I get up thinking of all the things to be done and things we could do as a family, and by about 3 in the afternoon I am annoyed because we are all still hanging around doing nothing! My high hopes have tanked again. The saying 'if you fail to plan, you plan to fail' goes through my head.

Today we had a birthday party in the evening, and so I took the little girls out for a short walk to the park for some fresh air. I love my time with my kids. I mean the time we aren't cleaning, or practising music, or doing the jobs of daily life. I love the kid time, hanging out and playing  without a schedule or place to be. I think I would have liked having children in the 40's. Less distraction from the outside world. I wonder if someone from the 40's would agree with that. Maybe I should create that as best as I can here. No tv, ipods, etc for a month. Just play games, read... I can just hear the weeping and wailing that would start off that little experiment!

at the park with my Alli pally

swings are much easier to get into with 2 ft of snow beneath you

at the party skating for the first time

Fun at school

Two days in a row at the school doing things with the kids. I think that is a record for me, I am typically not a school mom. I am the one who asks her kids when exactly they will be appearing in their Christmas concert so I don't have to watch everyone else's kid saying their line. If I thought my kids wouldn't notice, I don't think I would be showing up to much at school. No particular reason really, I just don't have that much interest. I would rather watch my kids at the park, of take them swimming. That maybe sounds bad, but it is what it is. For todays event,  I felt the advertising was misleading. I thought I was going to the school for literacy week, to read to my kids quietly in a corner of their classroom or something. It turned out to be 40 minutes of sitting on the gym floor, watching all the kids in school parade around the gym to show their costumes (grade by grade) and then reading a story with my kids for about ten minutes, then going home. I have to say 40 minutes on the gym floor does not a happy bum make. In the end though, the kids were happy I came to school for them.

I think if my expectations of myself were as low as my kids expectations of me, I would be a lot more content...but maybe an under-achiever. Imagine waking up every day and saying, "all I have to do is show up and act interested". Sometimes the act interested part is optional, show up and wave is more like it. Perhaps when the Savior said that we should become as little children it was council to appreciate the little things and find joy in those you love.

That being said, I have made a mental note to have something else to do on literacy day next year. At least until 2:50, then show up for the reading part. Old habits die hard.

Emma as 'Matilda"

Kate learning a backward role

playing airplane

giving up on backward roles and doing a front roll