I miss that...

I have been listening to a recorded introductory discussion of a book on mathematical symbology that I am reading, and have been learning so many things as my mind absorbs what is being said and how I can apply it to the learning of so many important things in life. As I have been listening my computer is going into a screen saver mode and scrolling through various pictures I have saved. Looking at these pictures has made me think also of the lesson I seem to need to learn over and over; that is to live in and enjoy the moments. Too often I am looking ahead at what I want to come next, not quite happy in the now. I have looked forward to all kids out of diapers, to nights I can sleep and not have a baby cry me awake, of living here then there, of the next thing that will always be better than now. Looking at the pictures of my kids three years ago makes me miss their cute faces and funny things they would say out of innocence. I miss the hugs from the little arms that can't reach all the way around. I miss being in Red Deer and our friends there. How much of my time did I spend complaining or setting my eyes to something "better";while being too busy each moment to really enjoy them. I wonder if its really possible to balance the two. Look ahead and plan, enjoy right now.

The discussion I have been listening to talks of steps to approaching math, but I think they apply to all things we wish to know, understand, and teach. Each step looks at the subject in different ways. Understanding its history, those who were good at it and loved it; falling in love with the elements of the subject, having an example close to you of someone who loves and does that particular thing, or is passionate about it; applying it to your life in realistic ways, reading great literature that adds a wholeness to your understanding, and then working with the elements and figuring out how to manipulate them and how to manipulate that sphere of knowledge.

The good thing is my kids are still young, I still have time. I can use the things I learn now to make my kids my subject, and where I am now in my life my subject. I can read to my kids, study and love their talents, gifts and quirks; help them use their elements to find out more. I can treat them like a treasured book I never want to put down.

Chaos Walking

No this post isn't about the book, but my life. I feel so overwhelmed by everything lately. Nothing is getting done, and I have a lot to do...as always. I have started homeschool with William and for the most part am enjoying it, although I feel lost many times with worries of, "am I covering everything I need to?", "is anything getting through?", etc., etc.. I discovered yesterday that Kate has now missed her first two swimming lessons because I forgot when they started...awesome. Money is pouring out and that too stresses me. I have done it again. The start of school over-scheduling. I do it every year and  still have not learned. I do it because I see all the potential in my kids and want them to have the opportunities to develop them, but it is all too much. Oh and I am remodelling a bathroom, need to stain all of the kitchen cabinets, paint all the doors in my house and make some built in bookshelves...no problem. In the meantime life marches on...

Emma runs her heart out at a cross country race

Summers end

I have to say I am sad about the end of summer. Today was the kids first official day of school. I wanted more time with my kids, time to play and hang out and go camping and look at the stars. But alas life rolls on. I was looking at some of the pictures we took over the summer and here are a few of my faves:

playing at Kayben Farms 

filling all clothes with wheat...the front door mat looked great after that

watching the F-16 fly over our heads at the air show...super loud and cool!

spending the hot summer days in the river

camping in the mountains with family

visiting the zoo

being a part of Moroni's quest youth camp was fantastic

family hikes...a forced adventure by parents

ropes course and sliding in Whitefish

playing at Whitefish lake

stops along the way...

Summer

Summer is here! I feel like the whole month of July has flown by. Our first week we went to Vancouver Island with all the Stephan's for a great vacation. Nathan didn't have so much of a fun vacation as he had to work the whole time. His only day off was going to Tofino with us all. But even that night he worked.

 Our favorite place was Tofino, and the swimming hole with the rope swing. We played in parksville, and had great times together with all the family.

Since then we have gone to Red Deer to the westerner days, played with friends and cousins, and sold a little lemonade. We are also in the middle of renovations to the kitchen and bathrooms. I seem to be destroying more than making pretty at the moment, but the goal is to improve, so hopefully that happens.

Busy weekend

This weekend started off with a bang...or a barf I should say. Nathan had the flu friday and stayed home to spend the day in bed. I decided to knock off a project I had been planning on for way to many moons. I finally built my headboard. It was great to use all my saws and drill and such. I love the smell of wood! Anyhow this is how it went...

first, cut the shape out of plywood

second, frame it for support

third, add some fluff

fourth, put on fabric and put in room

I was going to add a nailhead trim, and still probably will but the trim I wanted wasn't in the fabric store, urgh!

We also went to the town parade on saturday and the kids had great fun grabbing all the candy they could.

waiting for candy-palooza to start

watching the action with loot bags at the ready

homework

I can't wait til school is done! Realistically it is movie and field trip time anyway. I have kind of given up on getting my kids out the door on time, caring what they pack in their lunches, and helping with homework. Not that I really do much helping anyway truth be told.

The other night Laurel came home with a long work sheet for science. It was on ecosystems and such. Now really I think I am more of a hinderance than a help as I like to make up answers that are somewhat silly or sarcastic. Laurel was asked to write an example of a food chain, as this was near the end I was "assisting" with answers...my bedtime had past, nothing else matters. Here was the food chain I told Laurel to write...and she did...then handed it in:

grass---rabbit---wolf----sasquatch!

Sometimes I like to add things just to see if the teachers are even reading it at this point.

Today Laurel showed me another science sheet about ecosystems, this one requiring a paragraph for each answer. Reading the answers she had put, I felt some of the questions are a little redundant as there was A LOT of repitition in the answers. So I told her for the last one she should just put "please refer to questions 1 through 4". She said that won't take up all the space, so I told her to make each word big enough to take up one line.

...and that is why I am not a teacher

I love being a mom. I love my kids. Sometimes I don't like them very much, but I always love them. Lately I have had a hard time with wrapping my head around going to work and leaving my little ones. Even as little as I work, I feel like I really need to be here with them at this stage of our family. I read a post on someone's website today and this particular part put words to my thoughts lately...

"Just remember that this is a season and it is the most sacred season you will ever have the honor of experiencing. This is the time when your babies need you and want you and enjoy having you around. This is the time when they will cling to your legs as you try to leave the house without them and run into your arms when you come home as if you’d been gone a lifetime. You will never be more loved and wanted and needed as you are right now…in this moment.

This is the season of boo-boos and spit up and dirt. It’s the season for 10 minute showers, half shaved legs, and one eyed mascara. You will get lonely. And jealous. And maybe sometimes you’ll begrudge your life and wish you had someone else’s. You’ll get frustrated and angry and you’ll want to escape. This will be the most unglamorous and unappreciated time of your life, and sometimes it just totally sucks. That’s ok. But have peace in knowing that this will be the season you look back on longingly. One day, we’ll gladly give up all the friends in the world to have our babies small again. To be able to fit them on our laps and read them stories and go on adventures and eat pancakes at every meal." (selection from post on whenathome.com)