I miss that...

I have been listening to a recorded introductory discussion of a book on mathematical symbology that I am reading, and have been learning so many things as my mind absorbs what is being said and how I can apply it to the learning of so many important things in life. As I have been listening my computer is going into a screen saver mode and scrolling through various pictures I have saved. Looking at these pictures has made me think also of the lesson I seem to need to learn over and over; that is to live in and enjoy the moments. Too often I am looking ahead at what I want to come next, not quite happy in the now. I have looked forward to all kids out of diapers, to nights I can sleep and not have a baby cry me awake, of living here then there, of the next thing that will always be better than now. Looking at the pictures of my kids three years ago makes me miss their cute faces and funny things they would say out of innocence. I miss the hugs from the little arms that can't reach all the way around. I miss being in Red Deer and our friends there. How much of my time did I spend complaining or setting my eyes to something "better";while being too busy each moment to really enjoy them. I wonder if its really possible to balance the two. Look ahead and plan, enjoy right now.

The discussion I have been listening to talks of steps to approaching math, but I think they apply to all things we wish to know, understand, and teach. Each step looks at the subject in different ways. Understanding its history, those who were good at it and loved it; falling in love with the elements of the subject, having an example close to you of someone who loves and does that particular thing, or is passionate about it; applying it to your life in realistic ways, reading great literature that adds a wholeness to your understanding, and then working with the elements and figuring out how to manipulate them and how to manipulate that sphere of knowledge.

The good thing is my kids are still young, I still have time. I can use the things I learn now to make my kids my subject, and where I am now in my life my subject. I can read to my kids, study and love their talents, gifts and quirks; help them use their elements to find out more. I can treat them like a treasured book I never want to put down.